Little Vampire Women

Alcott, L. and Messina, L. (2010). Little Vampire Women. New York, NY: Harper Teen.
ISBN-13: 9780061976254

•Plot Summary
Alcott's classic tale has been given new life, or is it undeath? in this humorous new adaptation. The central relationships remain, four sisters (Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy) in Civil War era Concord, MA, are waiting for the war to be over so their father can return. Theodore "Laurie" Laurence still lives with his grandfather next door. Meg is still wishing for wealth, Jo is still a tomboy, Beth is still shy, Amy is still vain, and Marmee is still trying to teach her Little Women to be the best women they can be. Beth still loves cats and kittens, only in this version, it's for breakfast. Beth is invited to use the piano once belonging to Laurie's aunt, but she turns his grandfather into a vampire out of gratitude. Jo writes, but it's the information she learns as a vampire defender against human attackers, and she yearns to attend Gentleman Jackson's Preparatory Salon for the Training of Vampire Defenders, and finding a suitable, loving husband that fits the bill Marmee wishes for her girls, means siring them so the love can remain for eternity. Amid all this, Laurie wants into the March family, he just wants it as a vampire. Belle Moffet receives a coffin instead of an emerald ring as a token of her engagement, and the party scene were Laurie disapproves of Meg's behavior remains, except that Meg has been poking humans with tacks, then seeing what muscle twitches first, before launching her fangs into those muscles to see how many punctures she can make. Father falls ill, and Jo must sell her hair so Marmee can pay for the train, but Jo wishes Mr.Brooke's would not be the escort-she suspects he has designs on Meg because he is a vampire slayer. While Marmee is gone, Beth succumbs to a fever like father's, and Jo is convinced that vampire slayers are to blame for the illness. As it happens, she is right, and the human baby Hummel only passed away from the fever, because it was so young. The antidote is found, but only works for Beth, because it contains the blood of her father in it. When their father finally returns home, Aunt March reveals that Mr. Brooke may in fact be a slayer, and Jo searches for further proof. In the closet of his room, under the floorboards, she finds the recipe for the "chilly death". Enraged, but in love enough to want to keep him with her always, Meg attacks John, turning him into a vampire as well. By the end of Part I, the family has all settled in nicely, Laurie is bringing home human friends that worship Amy, who has in turn become Aunt March's new companion, and Jo is in her third year at Gentleman Jackson's. Part II opens with Meg and John getting married, although this is slightly delayed by a surprise attack on the part of Dr.Bang, the same human responsible for the chilly death's distribution in the area. Bang's plan is thwarted, but Jo is more focused than ever on bringing about his downfall, and convinces Marmee to let her go to New York on the pretext of needing something new. Bang has been sighted in New York, and Jo becomes a governess to the Dashwood family, where she meets young men that discuss vampire philosophy and politics. She also meets Professor Bhaer, a Transylvanian vampire who possesses a philosophy of not using the modern conveniences that are dulling vampire senses. Jo is a humanitarian (non human blood drinker), like her parents, but she has always felt that potions and instruments allowed vampires to once more level the field against human adversaries. Over time, however, she is convinced that the Professor may be right in his estimations, and learns from him. Unlike the vampires she knows, he can become a bat, he can charm humans into doing what he wishes, his senses of sight and scent are better than the others, and so he can detect elements the other vampires miss. Unfortunately for the family, Beth's condition worsens again, and Jo discovers too late that the kittens that Beth delights in drinking from have been systematically poisoned over time. Beth dies, and Jo tracks down the kitten seller, who gives her a false name; she is anguished when she realizes she has then murdered her only lead to Dr.Bang. Going back to see Gentleman Jackson himself, Jo convinces him to let her teach a class on shifting, and becomes a success at the school. The next few chapters go swiftly, although they fellow the original novel closely, with Amy and Laurie having a whirlwind wedding. The difference, Amy has turned Laurie into a vampire as well, by the time they return from Nice. Professor Bhaer arrives at the family home, and has found Dr.Bang, all he could do for Jo to show how he felt for her. As he prepares to go, misunderstanding that Laurie was turned by Amy, Jo must explain the new couple's relationship. Friedrich is overjoyed, and Jo kisses him in the rain, the novel ending with the entire family feasting on Dr.Bang.

•Critical Evaluation
One of my favorite novels of all time, and this version was a wonderful take on the original story. Much of the dialog has been kept, and the scene of Laurie professing his love for Jo is as heartrending as ever. One addition to the novel, beyond the vampire element, is the use of footnotes to explain what are supposed to be historical details surrounding vampire literature and lifestyles. These alone, make the book worth reading.

•Reader’s Annotation
Original novel with humorous addition of vampires, a new twist on the beloved classic. Suitable for teens of all ages.

•Information about the author
Louisa May Alcott, like Jo, grew up in Concord, MA. Born in 1832, her experiences were much like Jo's own, save that her writings included several novels (such as the follow-ups to Little Women-Jo's Boys, and Little Men). Unlike the Jo of this novel, she was never a vampire, and died in 1888.

Lynn Messina grew up on Long Island, and attended Washington University in St.Louis. She is the author of several novels about teenage girls coming of age, Little Vampire Women being her fifth. She also works as a freelance copy editor in New York, and with her husband, has one son.

•Genre
Humor

•Curriculum Ties
Literature
English

•Booktalking Ideas
Classic literature given new life, humorous books for teens

•Reading Level/Interest Age
Grades 9-12/Ages 14-19

•Challenge Issues
N/A

•Why did you include this book in you’re the titles you selected?
I loved the original novel, and when I saw this on the shelves, had to read it. There has lately been a surge in classic novels made into humorous books, including Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which is included in this blog. This novel, however, is not from the same publisher and is intended for teen audiences.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Austen, J., & Grahame-Smith, S. (2009). Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Philadelphia, PA: Quirk Books.
ISBN-13: 9781594743344

•Plot Summary
Lizzie Bennett is one of give girls in the Bennett family, the second to the oldest, and the most proficient at helping rid her region of Unmentionables-aka Zombies. Taking the original Jane Austen classic, author Seth Grahame-Smith has revamped (or newly zombied) the material with the insertion of a plague that has been sweeping across England for two years. As the tale opens, the Unmentionables have been dormant, but rise again. Like the original, Lizzie still comes head to head with the insufferable Mr.Darcy, sister Jane still falls in love with the sweet and fabulously wealthy Mr.Bingley, and Mr.Darcy tries to thwart Jane's happiness-to the detriment of his own friendship/relationship with Lizzie. Lizzie still turns down her cousin, Mr.Collins, as he is ridiculous. Her best friend, Charlotte, still agrees to marry him days later. Lady Catherine is still too overbearing, and in the end, Mr.Darcy still saves the day. Unlike the original, Charlotte marries Mr.Collins because she is becoming a zombie and wants a husband to behead and bury her-he just doesn't notice the fact she is gray, and covered in sores. Lady Catherine is trying to find a cure for the plague, and her first altercation with Lizzie involves not just family, but a dispute over ninjas. Mr.Darcy still throws Bingley off from Jane due to Lizzie's family, but also because he mistakes Jane's cold as a possible sign of her becoming a zombie. When Lady Catherine comes to confront Lizzie about a possible alliance with Mr.Darcy, the two have more than a battle of words, they also have a battle of katanas and ninjas. Mr.Darcy still foots the bills for Lydia's running away with Mr.Wickham, but he and Lizzie have to finish off a few hundred zombies before they can have their happily ever after.

•Critical Evaluation
Hilarious recycling of Austen's original material, keeping all of the elements that caused us to have love/hate relationships with Darcy, Mr.Collins, Lydia, and Lady Catherine, as well as find Jane and Lizzie endearing. Gives the reader the same taste of language as Austen too.

•Reader’s Annotation
Perfect introduction to Austen's ability to create period satire, especially for reluctant teen readers. All the features of the original, but with today's brand of humor to keep the reader amused.

•Information about the author
The author, actually named Seth Jared Greenberg is from Rockville Center, New York. Born on January 4, 1976, he is not just an author, but also a film producer. Besides this novel, has also written an alternative novel about Abraham Lincoln and vampires, though his intended prequel to this novel was unable to be completed by Greenberg, and was written by another author instead.

Besides writing the novels, and a book on porn, Greenberg has also authored an Incredible Hulk comic book, and is in the process of producing a film based on the Abraham Lincoln novel.

•Genre
Humor

•Curriculum Ties
English Literature

•Booktalking Ideas
Classics and humor, alternative novels

•Reading Level/Interest Age
Grades 10-12/Ages 15-19

•Challenge Issues
N/A

•Why did you include this book in you’re the titles you selected?
I loved Austen's original novel, but the addition of a zombie element was too good to pass up. The classic style of the cover, combined with the unorthodox show of blood on the lady's mouth, definitely drew my attention.

Vampire is Just Not That Into You, The

Mezrich, V. (2009). Vampire is Just Not that Into You, The. New York, NY: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN-13: 9780545202381
ISBN-10: 0545202388

· Plot Summary
Author Vlad presents an amusing collection of quizzes and questionnaires to help every teen find her dream vampire. There are Top Ten lists, and language analysis, testimonials from 'real' teen girls that have dated (or are dating a vampire now), and explanations of how to find survive as a live teen without your vampire after the break-up. Also includes instructions on how to survive (literally) meeting his family, and fantastic vampire related recipes.

· Critical Evaluation
Tongue-in-cheek humor that most teens will appreciate, even the most die-hard vampire enthusiasts. Great collection of things to do, providing not only food for thought, but also guaranteed to keep teens eager about reading.

· Reader’s Annotation
Suitable for teens that date or plan to in the near future, with some enlightening material about human males as potential dates.

· Information about the author
Vlad Mezrich is a notoriously underground author, supposedly a genuine vampire with secrets to tell. Presumably for publicity reasons, nothing else about this author was released to the public.

· Genre
Fiction, Humor

· Curriculum Ties
N/A

· Booktalking Ideas
Teaching teens about self examination and expression. Vampire fans. Halloween reads.

· Reading Level/Interest Age
Grades 8-10/15-17

· Challenge Issues
Some parents that are worried about vampires being related to satanism or other such elements can be shown that this title is clearly written as humor, and nothing in it can be taken seriously as a means of finding a boyfriend among a collection of fictional creatures.

· Why did you include this book in you’re the titles you selected?
I am drawn to anything red, black, and white. As strange as it sounds, those have been my signature colors since before I was a teen, and usually anything with that combination draws me in. I'm also a vampire enthusiast, so one day while looking for a birthday gift for a friend with the same interest, I ran across this. I bought it for fun, because my daughter is too young to date, but it had us both laughing.